The happenings, the revelations and the utter bullshit

For the past one and a half years I have been working on a project that I have come to love (Aaaaakkkkhhh thu thu!). It quite literally gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning (and evenings), walk 5 miles to the university, sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen for hours on end. While working on it I have found some small joys that we take for granted our entire lives and waste this on great gift we are bestowed. Small joy like the skills we are granted, the things we learn about ourselves, people around us, even just lame stuff like Kalman filters and Inertial frames, a place to live, a place to call home. people to call acquaintances, Bla-di-Bla-di-Blah!

Khair we all search for distractions while working, for e.g. eating, facebook, doodling, facebook, youtube, listening to music, facebook, youtube, reading, facebook, youtube, blogging, facebook, youtube…. y_k+1 = y_k + x_k + facebook + youtube. where y_k+1 is the matrix defining the future state of the system, y_k defines the current state of the system, x_k the current inputs of the system…. and facebook matrix and youtube matrix. Yes I have completely gone nuts!

Luckily I dont spend as much time on facebook and youtube as my peers… I waste time drawing and listening to music, and sometimes taking up an axe and strumming around. Now when your brain is on a high… especially a caffiene high even the simplest of things seem so bloody awesome… definedby the equation z_k = A.x_k…. where z_k is the new caffiene highed input vector and the x_k the current original non caffiened emotional state vector and A the translation matrix. A is mostly a diagonal matrix with the cofactors on the diagonal. Yes I have gone completely nuts.

So This fine morning I came to my lab, started work, for which I feel very passionately, played the playlist titled “neurostimulent – toxic if applied without caffiene”….. and checked my mail…. and checked my other mailbox, and then my official mailbox… took a view of the happenings around the world (I dont read newspapers, I have found a very good substitute….. FACEBOOK!) and then turning to the CURRENT love of my life, my project! for which I realized I had left turned ON! I had blown my gyroscopes which meant I had a free day, or 2. Yes I have gone completely nuts!

And suddenly I realized, I had nothing to do! besides wasting more time doing the shit that I do, I had nothing else to do! And then I realized I had this reason to my existence (almost literally) is coming to an end this july! And I panicked!!! The past week has been a ride down memory lane even after I had replaced my sensors and had found something to do, which is surely not the place I ever would want to be. and each sign post down the lane was a reminder of the good and the bad. I HATE nostalgia. Yes I have gone completely nuts.

Damn I really need to start finding a replacement for this great love that has almost reached its expiry date. But then I heard this, and I simply did nt care anymore!

and this

We truly dont realize the little joys of life! To listen the right thing at exactly the right time so serendipitously that the only seemingly logical explanation of it would be divine intervention or fate or whatnot!

BULLSHIT…. Yes I have gone completely nuts!

And here is your blabbering! Happy?


8 Responses to The happenings, the revelations and the utter bullshit

  1. H says:

    You know when you write in uppercase, it really sounds like you’re screaming, instead you may be laughing, but it sounds like you’re screaming.
    And it’s actually scary :s

  2. pinkkay says:

    at times i worry for you (which isnt exactly a worrying phenomenon since i worry a lot) you are not those robots you draw,whether you realize this or not, you really need a..strongER emotional support system, “people to call acquaintances”?! ACUAINTANCES?!?! whatever happened to good ol “friends”?

    khair, being an acquaintance myself, i guess i better not interfere 😉

  3. Sorry guys, I apologize for the late reply.

    @H: Well The uppercase s just for emphasis… or something. You ll have to deduce with emotion entails with it. And why the heck is it scary???

    @Farooqk: dumbass!

    @Pinky: Hahaha… Well I dont like calling people friends… sounds so chick-like. Plus acquaintance is one of the few big words I do know… SO LEMME SHOW OFF MY WRITING SKILLS! Hahaha! Khair stronger emotional support system is something that I really dont need, or want. Plus friends are over-rated, the only thing you can rely on them for is stabbing you in the back! Haha!

  4. Leena S. says:

    lol i just love the second para!!! thats the coolest equation for procrastination ever!
    btw, ur masters ends in july?

    @ pinky
    safi hardly ever calls anyone ‘friend’. we are all his acquaintances and yet he worries about us, goes that extra mile to help us and all….but yea, he doesnt at least need to worry about being stabbed in the back by a ‘friend’, he’l always be stabbed in the back by an ‘acquaintance’ 😛

  5. Haha too much linear algebra for me! ‘ends’ is a very definite term… ‘trying to end’ would be more like it. Plus I m thinking of starting a PhD so I dont know if its actually going to end.

    Are you trying to flatter me??? If you are you are going about it the wrong way! I hardly worry about anyone other than myself and I never go the extra mile… Sheesh! I really need to start looking for new ‘acquaintances’! Hahaha

  6. pinkkay says:

    LOL!! @ leena & safi

    & good luck with your er new acquaintances *stifled laughter*

  7. Oh luck is something I ll definitely need with this!

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